DISPATCHES FROM THE PATRIARCHY!!!! Part 1

BREAKING NEWS: It is my distinct pleasure to announce that I have formally been appointed as a member of the Patriarchy. I take my duty very seriously to report to everyone about what this sophisticated, all reaching conspiracy does.  Don't worry intrepid reader: I'll be reporting from the inside of the Zionist – er, Patriarchy from time to time while still reporting on the madness of Social Justice Warriors.

The following is a transcript of the first meeting of the Patriarchy that I attended, with my induction ceremony deleted. Trust me you don't want to know what was involved in that. I'm still sore.

Scene: A poorly lit room somewhere in western Europe. On a dais is seated the projected hologram of someone who looks suspiciously like the bad guy from the new Star Wars film. The dais sits, somehow, at the head of a long table. Not a single person sits at the table. Every position at the table is a hologram projection station. At each 'seat' is the projection of a different member of the Patriarchy High Council. Each station is active save for one.

Supreme Leader: Gentlemen, I trust that the rampant oppression of women by the white, male and sometimes Jewish power structure is continuing unimpeded?

Across from the Supreme Leader is seated a young, smarmy looking man in his late 20s or early 30s. He's clutching a Wu-Tang one of a kind album in one hand and in the other are grossly inflated HIV drugs. We'll call him 'Smarmy'

Smarmy: Your Greatness, things are going well despite the setback in Europe. As you will recall from our last meeting we had assumed that the coordinated sex attacks by a tacky and not terribly subtle group of 'refugees' across major European cities would have earned a response by feminists. To our total surprise the feminists either ignored the attacks completely or called for a general curfew of men regardless of identification.

Supreme Leader: Yes, I was surprised myself. Our adversaries are at-times canny. They've even gained control of the major social media outlets.

To Smary's left is seated a renowned biologist and atheism advocate. Publicly he claims to be a feminist but he was recently exposed for his true opinions.

Biologist: They managed to use social media to get me temporarily disinvited from a famous skeptics conference I was going to attend.

Supreme Leader: Didn't you Tweet a videocomparing feminists to Islamists?

Biologist: Unfortunately that was a misstep.

Smarmy: It was hilarious though.

Biologist: The affair turned into a victory. I was recently reinvited to speak, which I will be doing.

Caesar: That's a great start darling but the feminists and SJWs are now censoring Twitter feeds. My many wonderful followers can't see what I'm tweeting most of the time.

Caesar is a gay conservative anti-feminist journalist for one of the bigger conservative internet news sources that will likely be censored once the feminist candidate for president is elected.

Smarmy: Isn't that new Trust and Safety Council that Twitter established almost all anti-free speech advocates?

Candidate: It's true. Thankfully I've avoided this topic on the campaign trail. I'm not sure I can lie convincingly about free speech.

Caesar: You've done a masterful job of making young impressionable leftists believe that your plan to tax the rich to pay for everything is remotely plausible. Daddy is very pleased.

The one empty seat is reserved for Daddy, a candidate for President of the UnitedStates. His membership in this body would shock no one. Candidate is a old, Jewish, white male who has managed to divide the SJWs and Feminists in the US in the presidential primaries. He is presently running as a Democrat, claims to be a Democratic Socialist, and has slowed the Feminist candidate's ascension to the nomination. Amazingly no one has noticed that anti-semitic, anti-white racists in the US are supporting an old white Jewish man for president.

Candidate: I've been manipulating the impressionable my whole career. It's what I do. But how do we manipulate the Trust and Safety Council?

Supreme Leader: Do you have any connections within the organizations that make up the Council?

Candidate: Unfortunately I don't. I'm not sure where the impressionable demagogue who runs Feminist Frequency's allegiances lie in the election. If she supports my candidacy then I may be able to get a meeting with her.

Supreme Leader: See if you can get a meeting with her. If you can...Bring. Her. To. Me.

With that the Supreme Leader sits back and vanishes, drawing the meeting to an end.